The Space of Not Knowing: Why Curiosity Might Be the Most Underrated Trait

There’s something powerful about not knowing.

I genuinely believe curiosity is one of the most important traits a person can have. In fact, I’d argue that it’s the trait that unlocks all the others. Intelligence, empathy, understanding, creativity—all of these are downstream of curiosity. If you're curious, you’re naturally going to learn, grow, and stretch yourself beyond the limits of your current perspective.

And here’s the thing: most people are curious. More than they realize. But curiosity doesn’t always show up in obvious ways. Often, the issue isn’t a lack of curiosity—it’s that we don’t know what questions to ask. We haven’t been given the spark yet.

That’s the magic of curiosity: it starts with a gap in our understanding. You hear something, read something, or see something, and a tiny voice inside says, Wait…what does that mean? That moment—that itch—is where curiosity is born. And the more you listen to that feeling, the better you get at finding it.

This process doesn’t just make life more interesting—it actually changes your brain. Studies show that curiosity lights up the same parts of the brain as hunger or desire, increasing dopamine and enhancing both memory and learning source.

So how do we get better at being curious?

Learning from a Candle (Yes, Really)

The other day, a friend of mine lit one of my candles and made a passing comment about not wanting to blow it out too soon. The way she said it—so casually, like it was common knowledge—immediately caught my attention. I asked her what she meant, and she explained that to make a candle last longer, you should let it burn for at least an hour the first time, so the top layer melts evenly. You should also trim the wick regularly to avoid tunneling.

I had never heard that before.

Candle maintenance? Who knew?! To her, this might’ve been basic knowledge—but to me, it was a whole new world. I had no idea this was something people knew, I hadn’t even known there was a question to ask.

Mind. Blown.

And that’s the point—it was never really about the candle. That moment reminded me how much I don’t know. Not just about candles, but about everything. How many other things have I overlooked simply because I never thought to ask?

Curiosity is a Muscle

We’re surrounded by learning opportunities all the time, but noticing them is a skill you have to build. You have to train yourself to catch those sparks—those throwaway comments, unexpected questions, or small contradictions that challenge what you thought you knew.

Lately, I’ve been trying to live more in that mindset. To stay open. To notice the moment when something unexpected makes me pause and say, “Wait—why is that?” The more you practice this, the more natural it becomes.

One Harvard study even found that curious people are better at decision-making, more innovative, and less prone to confirmation bias—because they’re open to different viewpoints and eager to explore unknowns.

Consume Content That Challenges You

The easiest way to spark more curiosity? Surround yourself with it.

I’m constantly looking for people—online and in real life—who make me think differently. Not necessarily people who agree with me, but people who are deep thinkers, question-askers, dot-connectors. I seek out content that forces me to slow down, reflect, and expand how I think.

For me, it’s less about what I’m watching or reading and more about who’s saying it. I gravitate toward people who are curious themselves—who love learning and can’t help but share what they’ve discovered.

A few people who’ve inspired me recently:

• John and Hank Green – Their ability to break down big ideas with humor and heart is unmatched.
• Dr. Joe Dispenza – Blends neuroscience with personal transformation in a way that’s both scientific and inspiring.
• Ali Abdaal – His videos on productivity, learning, and curiosity are endlessly thought-provoking.
• Tinx – She brings a unique and reflective lens to everyday experiences that often leads me to think deeper.

They’re all very different, but they share one quality: they ask great questions. And by doing so, they help me ask better questions too.

Ask Better Questions

If you take nothing else from this, take this: asking better questions is a superpower.

So many breakthroughs in life don’t come from knowing the answer—they come from asking the right question. And you don’t need to start big. Try simple ones:

• “Why is that?”
• “How does that work?”
• “What am I missing?”
• “What else could be true?”

Asking good questions can deepen conversations, open doors, and spark lifelong learning. It’s one of the most underrated life skills.

Even better? Surround yourself with people who inspire you to ask questions. The ones who drop surprising facts into conversations. Who make you want to pause and Google something. Who don’t have all the answers—but are excited to find them alongside you.

The Point Isn’t to Know Everything

I don’t have all the answers. And I never will. But what I’m trying to do is live with a mindset that leans into learning—daily, consistently, intentionally.

Because sometimes, a single spark—a candle, a comment, a question—can open up your mind in a way that would’ve been impossible just a few days earlier. Sometimes it leads you somewhere totally unexpected. Sometimes it changes everything.

So learn something new. Light the candle. Ask the question.
And see where it takes you.